Black Coffee and Misty Nights

CW: harassment, drunk people

1. I went downtown to go drinking with an old coworker/friend. The moment I stepped in the bar, I had some dude wave me over. Me, being a bit of a moron, assumed I must know him from somewhere and just have forgotten, and I let him buy me a $1 beer. My friend and I start talking, and this guy (who is very drunk, and who I definitely do Not know), keeps pressing in on me, and I- like a moron, try to talk to him too, because I feel bad for letting him buy me a drink.

Anyway, he gets super, super, grabby and keeps telling me how much he wants to kiss me. I tell him I have a boyfriend, and he tells me that he doesn't give a sh*t. Everyone else kind of stares uncomfortably at the two of us, and I have to leave the bar. I think someone was following me for a bit, but I could be mistaken; I was a bit shaken, and it was very dark.

My friend and I go to another bar, where we run into our guy friend, and a good hour or two later we head back to the first bar. My two friends check to make sure Drunk Guy is gone- he is- so we go back in to drink a little more. Drunk guy shows back up, but the Guy friend is there, and I worry less. (Guy friend knows how to handle people like Drunk Guy, whereas the only thing I know how to do is leave) Drunk guy tries to grab me, Guy friend tell him to keep his hands to himself, and Drunk Guy does, thank god.

Anyway, beyond that, last night was super fun; I used to work in the back of a bar, and because of that, I used to go drinking once or twice a week (much more often than I usually do). It was cool; I'd always wanted a bit of the nightlife experience, and I'm not gonna lie- I enjoyed every second. I love bar culture, even if sometimes you have to navigate drunks with boners.

1. I'm still deciding what to do with my Dreamwidth account, but I'm really considering using it to encourage me to write fanfiction. I used to be super into writing, and while I doubt I'll be able to go back to writing full-scale novels (like I did as a teen), I like the idea of writing short, thousand word romance pieces. I think it'd be fun, guys.

If I do, I'd probably focus on Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Sherlock; I'm into a whole bunch of other shows, but I think those three have characters I'd be super interested in writing about.

2. I feel like I've written this before, but heck, this is my dreamwidth account, so I'll go ahead and talk about it again. It's so wild to no longer be moving; to have a job and apartment and friends, and to be settled to some extent. I really want to keep moving forwards, but I'm not sure what, exactly, I want to move towards.

I kind of want to finish getting a Bachelor's, but I also kind of... don't. Going to college burned me out; I was working 25 hours a week and taking full time classes almost the entire time I was going, and low key? That sort of grind kills any desire you have to make it to the end.

Part of me thinks maybe I just can't afford college right now. And while I could, theoretically, work to get through it, I just don't think I can.

3. I have a lot more free time now that I'm no longer going to college. I kind of want to try learning German or Danish, and I kind of want to get back into tarot, and I kind of want to write more. I just want to explore myself and my interests more, because I never had time when I was going to school. It's like, I had all these interests when I was a teenager, and I lost interest in them as I grew busy. And... I want to get back into them now.

One thing that I think I adore about dreamwidth is how the style really, really looks like something I'd use to write a personal post about my relationship with Christmas at 2:00AM, before deleting it at 12PM the next day. And with that in mind, I thought I'd try doing just that, minus writing it at 2:00AM, minus deleting it (maybe).

1. My apartment's been *super* cold, because the radiators weren't working. And like a fool, I completely avoided trying to get it fixed, because I *hate* having strangers in my apartment. ~Which also brings me to how *quickly* my radiators were fixed once I got the nerve to, you know, request maintenance. It surprised me, actually- I really expected it to take *forever* to fix.

And truthfully, between you and me? The only reason I could even do that was because my boyfriend's coming over, and he'd be super confused why I don't just... get the heat fixed. (Plus he reacts worse to the cold than I do, so just letting the apartment freeze isn't... really an option.)

2. I'm weirdly, weirdly stable right now, which is... an unusual position to be in. This last summer, I've spent my entire transition out of the school system looking for work, an apartment, and *dating* (which isn't something that I used to *do*, you know?). And after applying for job after job, and apartment hunting for *forever*, and then having to find a *new* job (because my first job was ridiculously awful), *and* being accepted into a new school for next year, the stability is... new. It's new, and it feels good.

3. I don't have a lot of money to spend right now, which is pretty normal for me- but I also have *more* than enough stuff at the moment. Which is also new. When I first started living on my own, I could expect to move about once every six months (which was stressful and bad). Because of this, I never really bothered picking things up. What was the point of buying new furniture if I was gonna have to throw it all away?

But living in my current place, I got the chance to buy Things. Chairs, and a couple tables, and obnoxious figurines. And guys, it's really, really nice- I love having Stuff.

And actually, my current situation is something that I could only *dream* of being in at one point- independent, and safely housed, and making money (but still having enough time to focus on my personal projects). It's weird, because part of me would be really happy just to let things... stay like this.

And I might! I'm tired of college, guys, and I'm tired of moving. And- and- and! I've had *just* the same amount of luck, if not *more*, in finding jobs as my peers with Bachelor degrees have. It's a tired truth, but I really feel that most degrees are just... pointless. And I wonder if I might do better just to focus on building my presence in the work force.